Monday, January 31, 2005

Heron Studies the Sunset

Yellow-crowned Night Heron studies the sunset

This is called taking a picture at prime focus through a telescope. Instead of focusing through any kind of lens the 8-inch telescope mirror is focused directly onto the surface of the 35mm film. I was focusing on his eye which is the only point in the image in sharp focus. He was looking into the a forlorn sort of way, it seemed. -- Dalton Hammond

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Commit suicide legally, but invite your friends...

This was something to think about - from a Canadian blog -- Dalton Hammond

~Butterfly Wings~: One of those weeks...

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Do You Know This Killer Who Mugged Me?

This is the guy, Dan Brown, who mugged me at gunpoint in the parking lot of The Ramada Inn a few years ago.  I just happened to see his mug shot at a "Most Wanted" page which states:

Daniel Brown is wanted by the Norfolk Police Department, Virginia State Police and the FBI for 4 counts of capital murder in the City of Norfolk. He is alleged to be a "hit man" from New York City with friends and family in the Brooklyn area. He is considered armed and dangerous. Social Security #: 088-34-9131. Sex: male; Race: black; DOB: 8/2/46; Height: 6'0"; Weight: 160; Hair: Black; Eyes: brown; Complexion: medium.

If you know how to nab this guy let the police know please, and watch out for people coming up behind you in dark parking
lots.  Be alert! -- Dalton Hammond

Friday, January 21, 2005

Fake tsunami picture?

Is this tsunami picture for real?

A fake tsunami picture or not?
A friend emailed me this picture of the tsunami striking the beach. Does anybody know if it is for real? -- Dalton Hammond

Thursday, January 20, 2005

My Jokes

Only the ones with my initials are my originals. D.H.

Ronald Reagan Revisited

Some quotes from Actor-turned-U.S.-President Ronald Reagan:

"Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose."

"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."

"Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S. was too strong."

"I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."

"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."

"Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."

"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."

"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program."

"I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting."

"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.

- Ronald Reagan

Thanks for winning the Cold War for us Mr. President. I was a little bit worried about that problem. Your Star Wars bluff was worth an Academy Award. -- Remembered by Dalton Hammond.

My Golf Stories

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

A Senior Viagra Moment

I have been buying Viagra since the first week it was invented but the grocery store pharmacists had never seen me with my roommate until recently. I sent her on an errand while I went to the pickup counter, and as usual the place was full of people. As I whispered my name and "Viagra" to the girl behind the counter, I noticed curious eyes and ears turning my way, as always. Just then my pretty young blonde roommate came running out of cosmetics with a jar of something, grinning excitedly as she shouted for the whole store to hear: "Guess what? I'm going to give you a MUD BATH!"

Later that night she did. -- Dalton Hammond

Sunday, January 16, 2005

A Joke That Can Go Wrong

Fake virus animated graphic -- Do not panicThis is the most terrifying joke I've ever played on anyone. The graphic is totally safe; it is a harmless GIF animation, but be careful about sending it to your friends. It will scare the living bejeesus out of them and I will refuse to take responsibility. -- Dalton Hammond

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Mystery Bird

UPDATE 31Jan05 : ANSWERED PRAYER! The bird has been returned to its owners. - D.H.

UPDATE 16Jan05 : It is an African Senegal Parrot. See comments below. -- D.H.

Today while walking my dog in my own driveway a nearby ilex bush started talking to me.

A moment later this pretty bird flew out looking very lost, and he/she/it is now living it up in my greenhouse-turned-aviary while I try to locate the owner. The bird's green, yellow, and orange nicely match my overwintering hibiscus in this shot. Happily, my new studio model is not camera shy.

But what kind of bird is it? I think it is a conure but the head looks too dark. 'Preciate any help. -- Dalton Hammond

Monday, January 10, 2005

On Being The Fall Guy

A friend recently had hip replacement and heart bypass surgeries. I'm glad to say he was recovering OK but a few days ago he slipped on some ice and got all banged up, breaking his arm. I wrote a poem to cheer him up but it came out sounding like gallows humor. What do you think? -- Dalton Hammond


This limerick won't make any sense.
I wrote it about a friend's stents.
But with bad luck from Hell
He slipped and he fell
And now it's about his new splints.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

C2004 C2 Macholz

Comet C2004 C2 Macholz glows as a fuzzball as it skims past the Pleiades star cluster on January 8, 2004
Here's the best I could do last night with Comet C2004 C2 Macholz. It glows as a fuzzball as it skims past the Pleiades star cluster. This was shot with a 135 mm lens using Kodak 400 Max something. You can find lots of nicer shots than this. -- Dalton Hammond

More of my Backyard Astronomy

Friday, January 07, 2005

Bob Hope and Bob Jones

Bob Hope and Bob Jones onstage in Chapel Hill, N.C. in the mid-1960s
This is me in my former life as Bob Jones, WKIX disc jockey. My friend Charlie Brown (Ed Weiss) and I introduced Bob Hope at a couple of shows he did in the Raleigh, N.C. area in the mid-1960s. What a thrill! -- Dalton Hammond

More of My Radio Stories

Monday, January 03, 2005

Lightning Strikes

The Nikon Coolpix 5700 caught this nearby lightning bolt in movie mode.

I went out into a recent thunderstorm to see if I could take a movie clip of lightning. This was the result. You can see a leader trying to get in the car with me.

-- Dalton Hammond

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Raccoon Visitor

One night I was sitting in the dark backyard taking pictures of faraway space objects through the telescope when I heard a rustle in the bushes behind me. I discovered this dude sitting in a holly tree munching on some wild grapes. What looks like a smile actually produced more of a warning hiss at the time. -- Dalton Hammond

Saturday, January 01, 2005


Military Intelligence at work at the 1981 Yorktown Bicentennial Victory celebration

I borrowed a friend's camera to capture this official government sign during the 1981 Yorktown Bicentennial celebration. -- Dalton Hammond