Thursday, March 30, 2006

Bird Brain

As I write these words a silly bluebird is banging his head into my patio window over and over.

He must be a golfer.

-- Dalton Hammond

Saturday, March 11, 2006

How To Make Basketball A Gentlemen's Game

* The player farthest from the net should shoot first
* Two-shot penalty if ball goes out of bounds
* Audience is to remain quiet and orderly
* Players should call penalties on themselves, if guilty
* Only the top 50% of players will continue play in the second half of game
* Coaching from sidelines not allowed during game
* Player's cash winnings to be a matter of public record
* No time outs

-- Dalton Hammond

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Life and the Iditarod

I was the junior member by several years in our golf threesome this morning and was getting outplayed like crazy by my teammates who were 78 and 80 years old. While we waited to hit on the sixth tee the topic of conversation somehow turned to Alaska and the Iditarod, which I think starts today. My cartmate made the observation that dog #1 is the only one who ever gets a change of scenery.

It got funnier the more I thought about it. The rest of the dogs really have a crappy view don't they?

Life is like that. Mediocrity is being, say, the third dog.

-- Dalton "Yukon" Hammond