Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Real Pat Patterson

Pat Patterson is the funniest radio morning host I have ever heard --anywhere! Pat was on the air during the Golden Years of Top 40 Radio at my alma mater, WKIX in Raleigh, North Carolina, from 1969 to 1974.

Pat earned four Billboard awards during his time in Raleigh at KIX for Best Morning Personality in a Medium Market and Best A.M. Personality in a Major Market. He released two rock ‘n’ roll singles (which did nothing) and while in Raleigh, he recorded three comedy albums, most of them featuring bits from his show. “At least I got my money back,” says Pat.

Pat’s Publicity Stunts during the WKIX years included four hot air balloon rides, with the last one ending in a crash landing. “But I did get my champagne!” Pat says. “I also wrestled Victor the Bear, a dumb idea that lasted 30 seconds. I quarterbacked the N.C. State Freshman team and later the Alumni Teams as ‘Celebrity QB’. Four plays each game and I damn nearly got killed.”

“The biggest fun thing at ‘KIX was organizing and coaching the KIX Kagers basketball team. We played 35-40 high school faculties a year and raised over $80,000. I averaged 25 points a game and never played in high school!”

Pat’s bits were always delivered straight, and unless you listened carefully, it was sometimes difficult to tell whether he was kidding, or not! And his deliberate, seemingly annoyed pauses when something supposedly goes wrong are pure Patterson, too.

Fortunately, there was never any confusion regarding Johnny Dollar but we wouldn’t be surprised if a few less-studious students at N.C. State sometimes used Uncle Zeb’s Miracle Liniment, even without a specific recommendation from Dr. Patterson.

Pat has finally gone high-tech and set up a web site full of his air checks and humor bits and I urge you to check him out at

-- Dalton Hammond

Monday, February 25, 2008

Clinton vs Obama

"Now that the race to become the Democratic nominee is down to just Clinton and Obama I would have to say that Obama is the best man for the job."

-- Dalton Hammond

Thursday, February 21, 2008

2008 Lunar Eclipse

©2008, Dalton Hammond

Friday, February 15, 2008

Cream Rises To The Top

I have heard it often said that 'cream rises to the top'. However, I have noticed that turds float, too.

-- Dalton Hammond

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Steroids on the PGA Tour

I saw an interesting observation in a golf magazine the other night:

"Tiger Woods has said that if they start testing tour players for steroids he'll gladly be the first in line to be tested. Now I ask you, if Tiger's test comes back negative, what does it MATTER what anyone else is on?"

Amen, brother. -- Dalton Hammond

Monday, February 11, 2008

Gary Player -- 11 Million Golf Balls?

Being a skeptic comes naturally to me so when golf professional Gary Player claimed to have hit eleven million golf balls in his career I had to put the calculator on it.

He's 72 years old. Let's say Gary started hitting balls at the age of 2, which is doubtful. Eleven million divided by 70 divided by 365 equals 430 balls every single day, taking off only leap days every four years.

I really, really doubt it.

-- Dalton Hammond