After all these years we should be used to having idiots for President.
-- Dalton Hammond
BONUS: Here's one I lifted from The Prairie Home Companion
A guy walks into a bar and is considering what he'd like to drink. He spots a strange-looking bottle full of a blue liquid. He calls the bartender over and asks, "What's that?"
The bartender says, "Oh, that's new. That's liquid Viagra."
"Okay," the guy says. "Pour me a stiff one."
from Brad Strickland, Oakwood, Georgia