From The Dumb Network: I'm 21!!!
A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store. The suspect was arrested two hours later.
From Stupid Criminals: The Bulge
A drug-possession defendant in Pontiac, Michigan said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher,who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it.
The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.
From Humor Like Stuff: He Gave Her the Finger
"This is no toy; the gun is loaded," the robber said to his victims Monday in the Pekin Cleaners on Chicago's south side.
Police said the robber, wearing a red handkerchief over his face and carrying a sawed-off 12-gauge shotgun, then opened the gun to show it was loaded. When he closed it, the weapon fired, taking off two-thirds of the little finger of his left hand. After the gun fired, he took $10 from the cash register and a portable television set from the counter and fled.
Police recovered the tip of the finger and were able to get a fingerprint.
From Dumb Criminals, Stupid Criminals: Bad Investment
Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.
From Humor Page: stupid_criminal: Two Good Quickies
Did you hear about the guys that held up the Japanese tour bus?
The police apprehended them several days later, they had 500 good photographs of each robber.
Here's the other:
A man in Switzerland went to a photo shop, had pictures taken, and -- while the photographer developed the pictures -- he took off with the cash register, leaving behind, of course, the pictures.
-- Dalton Hammond...GOOD DAY!