Heron Studies the Sunset

This is called taking a picture at prime focus through a telescope. Instead of focusing through any kind of lens the 8-inch telescope mirror is focused directly onto the surface of the 35mm film. I was focusing on his eye which is the only point in the image in sharp focus. He was looking into the sunset...in a forlorn sort of way, it seemed. -- Dalton Hammond

Commit suicide legally, but invite your friends...

This was something to think about - from a Canadian blog -- Dalton Hammond

~Butterfly Wings~: One of those weeks...

Do You Know This Killer Who Mugged Me?

This is the guy, Dan Brown, who mugged me at gunpoint in the parking lot of The Ramada Inn a few years ago.  I just happened to see his mug shot at a "Most Wanted" page which states:

Daniel Brown is wanted by the Norfolk Police Department, Virginia State Police and the FBI for 4 counts of capital murder in the City of Norfolk. He is alleged to be a "hit man" from New York City with friends and family in the Brooklyn area. He is considered armed and dangerous. Social Security #: 088-34-9131. Sex: male; Race: black; DOB: 8/2/46; Height: 6'0"; Weight: 160; Hair: Black; Eyes: brown; Complexion: medium.

If you know how to nab this guy let the police know please, and watch out for people coming up behind you in dark parking
lots.  Be alert! -- Dalton Hammond

Backyard Astronomy

• Saturn the Ringed Planet
  
• STS-116 Over the Pinehurst Harness Track
  
• History of Iridium Flares
  
• Oh Beautiful, For Darker Skies
  
• M42 -- The Orion Nebula
  
• Rockets And Satellites In Your Back Yard
  
• Comet Hale-Bopp
  
• Total Lunar Eclipse - 23 Nov 2003
  
• The red planet Mars - 21 Aug 2003
  
• Comet 2004 C2 Macholz
  
• M45 - The Pleiades
  
• The Eclipsed Moon and The Pleiades
  
• Northern Lights - 27 Oct 2004
  

My Photos

Ferguson Center Harvest Moon

Heron Sketch

Stalking the Night

Sailing Home

Comet Hale-Bopp

Craig Woolard / Jackie Gore Embers Reunion

Heron Studies the Sunset

CoORDINATION

Shaggers on the Beach

Raccoon Visitor

Hummingbird

Ghosts and Aliens

Scientists Receive Alien S.O.S.

WKIX and the Ghost of Maco Station

Honey, There's An Alien In My Television

Fake tsunami picture?

Is this tsunami picture for real?


A friend emailed me this picture of the tsunami striking the beach. Does anybody know if it is for real? -- Dalton Hammond

My Jokes

Only the ones with my initials are my originals. D.H.

• Quotable Quotes -- DH
  
• High-Tech Terms Defined -- DH
  
• A REAL Italian singer -- DH
  
• Joke Recognition Software -- DH
  
• Why? Why? Why?
  
• The Chicken or the Egg?
  
• Thermometers
  
• Television Unified Field Theory -- DH
  
• Things You'd Like To Say At Work
  
• More Internet Proverbs
  
• Be All That You Can Be
  
• A Guy Walks Into A Bar...
  
• Guilty Until Proved Innocent
  
• Words Women Use
  
• He Said...She Said...
  
• Top 10 Suggestions For Guys Playing Golf Or Standing At A Urinal
  
• Astronomers Receive Outer Space S.O.S. -- DH
  
• The Computer Swallowed Grandma
  
• The Great Federal Reorganization Plan -- DH
  
• Bill Clinton Jokes
  
• 30 Smiles For Today
  
• How To Wash The Cat
  
• Rejected Titles For Children's Books
  
• Stupid Criminals
  
• I Reminded Him Of His Brother
  
• Definitions That Make Sense
  
• A Joke That Can Go Wrong
  
• How To Tell If You're Serious About Golf -- DH
  

Ronald Reagan Revisited

Some quotes from Actor-turned-U.S.-President Ronald Reagan:

"Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose."

"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."

"Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S. was too strong."

"I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."

"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."

"Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."

"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."

"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program."

"I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting."

"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.

- Ronald Reagan

Thanks for winning the Cold War for us Mr. President. I was a little bit worried about that problem. Your Star Wars bluff was worth an Academy Award. -- Remembered by Dalton Hammond.

My Golf Stories

• Dalton Hammond On The L.P.G.A. Tour
  
• Top 10 Suggestions For Guys Playing Golf Or Standing At A Urinal
  
• The Golf Bifocals
  
• My Hole In One
  
• The Course Record At St. Andrews
  
• My Dog Bogey Gives Up Golf
  
• How I Played The 1992 U.S. Open, by Dalton Hammond
  
• How To Tell If You're Serious About Golf
  

A Senior Viagra Moment

I have been buying Viagra since the first week it was invented but the grocery store pharmacists had never seen me with my roommate until recently. I sent her on an errand while I went to the pickup counter, and as usual the place was full of people. As I whispered my name and "Viagra" to the girl behind the counter, I noticed curious eyes and ears turning my way, as always. Just then my pretty young blonde roommate came running out of cosmetics with a jar of something, grinning excitedly as she shouted for the whole store to hear: "Guess what? I'm going to give you a MUD BATH!"

Later that night she did. -- Dalton Hammond

Little-Known Windows Tips

• Windows Magnifier Tool
  
  
• Windows Full-Screen Browser Key
  
  
• How To Copy Your Windows Monitor Screen
  

My Radio Stories

• Rhythm of the Rain
  
• WKIX and The Ghost of Maco Station
  
• On Stage With Bob Hope
  
• A very rare Reel Radio 1964 aircheck of medium-market Top 40 station WKIX in Raleigh, NC
  
• I Love Beach Music
  
• Jackie Gore/Craig Woolard Reunion
  
• The Snake and My Date
  
• Lots of WKIX Stuff from the 60s Here
  

A Joke That Can Go Wrong

This is the most terrifying joke I've ever played on anyone. The graphic is totally safe; it is a harmless GIF animation, but be careful about sending it to your friends. It will scare the living bejeesus out of them and I will refuse to take responsibility. -- Dalton Hammond

Mystery Bird

UPDATE 31Jan05 : ANSWERED PRAYER! The bird has been returned to its owners. - D.H.

UPDATE 16Jan05 : It is an African Senegal Parrot. See comments below. -- D.H.

Today while walking my dog in my own driveway a nearby ilex bush started talking to me.

A moment later this pretty bird flew out looking very lost, and he/she/it is now living it up in my greenhouse-turned-aviary while I try to locate the owner. The bird's green, yellow, and orange nicely match my overwintering hibiscus in this shot. Happily, my new studio model is not camera shy.

But what kind of bird is it? I think it is a conure but the head looks too dark. 'Preciate any help. -- Dalton Hammond

On Being The Fall Guy

A friend recently had hip replacement and heart bypass surgeries. I'm glad to say he was recovering OK but a few days ago he slipped on some ice and got all banged up, breaking his arm. I wrote a poem to cheer him up but it came out sounding like gallows humor. What do you think? -- Dalton Hammond

ON BEING THE FALL GUY

This limerick won't make any sense.
I wrote it about a friend's stents.
But with bad luck from Hell
He slipped and he fell
And now it's about his new splints.

C2004 C2 Macholz

Here's the best I could do last night with Comet C2004 C2 Macholz. It glows as a fuzzball as it skims past the Pleiades star cluster. This was shot with a 135 mm lens using Kodak 400 Max something. You can find lots of nicer shots than this. -- Dalton Hammond


More of my Backyard Astronomy

Bob Hope and Bob Jones

This is me in my former life as Bob Jones, WKIX disc jockey. My friend Charlie Brown (Ed Weiss) and I introduced Bob Hope at a couple of shows he did in the Raleigh, N.C. area in the mid-1960s. What a thrill! -- Dalton Hammond

More of My Radio Stories

Lightning Strikes

The Nikon Coolpix 5700 caught this nearby lightning bolt in movie mode.

I went out into a recent thunderstorm to see if I could take a movie clip of lightning. This was the result. You can see a leader trying to get in the car with me.

-- Dalton Hammond

Raccoon Visitor

One night I was sitting in the dark backyard taking pictures of faraway space objects through the telescope when I heard a rustle in the bushes behind me. I discovered this dude sitting in a holly tree munching on some wild grapes. What looks like a smile actually produced more of a warning hiss at the time. -- Dalton Hammond

CoORDINATION

I borrowed a friend's camera to capture this official government sign during the 1981 Yorktown Bicentennial celebration. -- Dalton Hammond