Calorie-Cutting in Paradise

And here's another little trick from Paradise Found (Pinehurst, NC):

There is a well-known concoction around Pinehurst called the "Arnold Palmer", which is half iced tea and half lemonade.

Now try the "Dalton Hammond": Mix a packet of Crystal Lite Decaf Iced Tea mix (the regular, not with mangoes or peaches or whatever) with a packet of Crystal Lite Lemonade mix into a half-gallon (or a little more, since this comes out rather "sweet") of plain water. This tastes a lot better than you expect. Mmmm...and only about 10 calories per large serving!

You can drink this while watching TV 18 hours a day and never get fat.

Enjoy!

- Dalton Hammond

Searching Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence

If you believe what the evolutionists tell you then SETI is spending all this money to discover radio signals from 100 million light years away that could have only been sent by dinosaurs. -- Dalton Hammond

Cellphones and Cellulose

I went to the Wal-Mart today and decided I should have been a surgeon. What do you call a doctor who attempts to remove cellphones from women's ears anyway? Don't these people know that cellphones cause cellulose, turbidity, pimples, flatulence, wrinkles, stretch marks, bad grades, pregnancy, premature graying, annoys everyone around them, and makes them look really stupid?

And how come I'm always the only one who really knows what's going on?

-- Dalton Hammond

Note: Since writing this post I've decided to try to be less critical of public display of stupid cellphones. Apparently, like going out in public with boogers hanging from both nostrils or wearing white shorts with fresh brown stain in the seat, some people -- male and female -- have different concepts of cosmetic ornamentation. --D.H.

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