Sunday, March 06, 2005

The Birth of the Earth




"In the beginning...the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep." Six thousand years or more after those words were written by our Biblical forebears, that's still what our learned scientists believe about the origin of our Earth and solar system.

You may have already seen the image of mine of M42 - The Orion Nebula - on this blog a few weeks ago, but don't leave yet; here's what it should look like with a bigger telescope and the professional expertise of my amateur astronomer friend Paul Gardner. When the new picture comes up click on it for an even larger view. Totally awesome!

Orion NebulaThis area is a cosmic star factory and one of the most beautiful wonders within reach of the amateur telescope. The Hubble Space Telescope and other new telescopes now in service can see much farther inside these and other clouds of luminous gases to actually see new stars - protostars - and presumably other planetary systems being born before our superenhanced eyes. -- Dalton Hammond

More of my Backyard Astronomy

The Golf Bifocals

I thought I'd heard all the golf jokes in the world but this one was new to me. Stop me if you've heard it. -- Dalton Hammond

Golfer silhouetteA foursome of golf hackers always teed off every Saturday at 10 AM and were all usually there well before tee time. One Saturday Mark rushed to the tee just in time, as the other three were teeing off. Mark apologized and explained that he had stopped at the optometrist office on the way to the course to pick up his new bifocals.

Mark put on his new glasses, teed up his ball and after turning his head this way and that proceeded to hit the best drive of his life. His approach shot to the green was even better than his drive - leaving him a birdie putt which he drilled into the middle of the hole. Mark continued to play the best golf of his life, breaking 80 for the first time and winning every bet.

The golfers retired to the clubhouse after the round to celebrate and allow Mark to buy the drinks. After the first round his friends began to press him to explain his new golf skills.

Mark said "Guys, its these new bifocals - when I put them on and looked over the top I saw a little ball and a little club - when I looked through the bottom I saw a big ball and a big club - but when I looked just right I could see a little ball and a big club. So I hit the little ball with the big club all day. When I putted it was even better, I hit the little ball into the big hole with the big putter."

Everyone thought this was exceptional and decided to have several more drinks. After a while Mark excused himself to visit the Men's room. Several minutes later, when he failed to return one friend went to check on him.

He found Mark at the urinal with the front of his trousers soaking wet. "What happened?", his friend inquired.

An obviously tipsy Mark replied "I don't know. I was standing here at the urinal and I looked down and saw two - one big one and one little one. Well, I didn't recognize the big one so I put it back in my pants!" -- D.H.

More of my Golf Stories


Friday, March 04, 2005

Cucumbers and Leeches

As the rusty pickup truck rattled along the unpaved path that ran between the tobacco field and the edge of the woods my uncle cursed the suckers that he could see beginning to emerge between the tobacco stalks and the base of each thick, sticky green leaf. They would have to be removed, by hand in the next few days, he decided. There was always something you had to do to tobacco. 'Transplanting', 'suckering', 'topping', 'priming', 'grading', 'tying', 'barning', and 'curing' were farming terms I learned on my summer visits to my cousin’s home, and even as a city-reared boy I knew what my uncle was thinking.

Children weren’t allowed to work in tobacco, so my job during the summer visits was to help pick cucumbers, which were coming in daily during late June and early July. It was back-breaking work, crawling along the rows looking for the elusive vegetable which hid under the thick leaves. Even at that young age I had an undiagnosed heart problem that kept me from producing my fair share of cucumbers, and I developed a reputation for being lazy. When the field was picked we’d take our harvest to a nearby temporary grading station that paid my uncle according to the sizes we brought. In turn, my uncle paid us each fifteen cents for our day’s work and we ran off to the country store where big cookies in a glass jar were two for a penny and a Sundrop cola was a nickel. To this day nothing quenches a summer thirst like a Sundrop, I think.

The truck swung around a corner of the woods, bringing Mr. Bill’s house into view at the top of a hill two fields away. It was a big two-story farmhouse with a circular, unpaved driveway and huge windows that ran all the way across each story. Mr. Bill owned all the farmland in the area, even my uncle’s house, and my uncle worked for him. We were told that Mr. Bill was away in Europe on vacation for several weeks as he always was this time of year and I thought about that for a moment. I wasn’t sure what Europe was, but my aunt had told me it was on the other side of the ocean. Although my cousin had never seen an ocean, I had, several times. Europe sure seemed far away. Mr. Bill must be an okay guy, I thought, since we had his permission to go swimming in his pond while he was away.

A rough path in the woods caught my eye. I knew from previous visits that it led down to a clear spring. When the Corps of Engineers built the big reservoir not far away a few years earlier, many of the local farmers’ wells ran dry, forcing them to set up barrels to catch rain water that ran off their corrugated steel farmhouse roofs for use in laundry and Saturday bathing. Once a week my uncle would hitch up a mule, wagon, and some barrels, travel to these woods and go down the path to collect fresh water for drinking.

We were soon at the pond and I immediately noticed that it had changed very little. Some of the weeds were higher, the area looked generally snakier, and the diving board looked more in need of paint, but in the heat and humidity of the rural summer it looked like an oasis to my ten-year-old eyes. Big spotted turtles the size of dishpans lolled just under the surface of the brown, murky water and seemed to be watching as the boys first, then the girls hid behind the truck to change into bathing suits.

All of us splashed and played for a large part of the afternoon, stopping every ten or fifteen minutes to come out of the water, in pairs, to pick off the blood-sucking leeches which had attached themselves all over our bodies. We were always covered with them. The idea was to pick off what you could, then turn to your partner and pick them off his back, hair, and anywhere else he couldn’t reach or see, and he'd return the favor. Then we’d jump back into the water for another round.

We burned off a huge amount of young energy that afternoon, and as we toweled dry and dressed I thought about how nice it was going to be later that night, lying on the blanket out by the vegetable garden, looking up at the sea of stars overhead. Out in the country the Milky Way was always so bright it seemed a person could read by it. There was nothing else to do since nobody had television in the early 1950s, and I’m certain that as I lay there contemplating the wonders of the universe, I developed my love for astronomy that continues to this day.

As the pickup took us home I glanced back at Mr. Bill’s house on top of the hill and stared. The late-day sun behind us bathed the house in a ruddy glow, and shining at us, as if saying goodbye, was a round red reflected sun in every window of the big house. I thought about Mr. Bill and Europe, then more urgently, began to think about my uncle's primitive outdoor Johnny House I would need to visit when we got back.

I was asleep, dreaming of cucumbers, by the time the pickup reached the main road.

(c) 2005, Dalton Hammond

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Change Your Life With Yoga

You will thank me for what you are about to read. I would like for you to consider trying a few hours per week of enjoyable, relaxing yoga which can take years off your life and inches off your waistline in your own home without any special equipment besides your own floor.

I'm not going to try to sell you any yoga product, and I have not posted any ad links relating to yoga unless my ad block in the right-hand column automatically suggests some without my knowing it, which it is likely to do per my affiliate agreement. Also, I'm not going to post any yoga links except for the wonderfully illustrative Sun Salutation graphic I borrowed which you can click to help you get started. I have no commercial tie to the web site; I'm just trying to help you enjoy your life and your body more.

Some personal background: When I was in Junior High School back in the 1950s I hurt my back somehow and I thought I would never get over it...and almost never did. Over the years I tried exercises, chiropractors, medicine, the whole gamut, but nothing really solved my problem. At times I'd walk around in a semi-crouch for weeks, in constant pain. "If I'm suffering like this in my youth, what will my life be like when I get old?", I wondered.

Then, after decades of pain, I discovered yoga.

Yoga Sun SalutationNow, I AM getting old but I get around like a teenager, actually better than some teens. When young people come to my house I sometimes ask them if they are able to touch their toes without bending their knees. Many of them who have never stretched except to pick up a TV remote cannot, and I tell them that I couldn't either when I was their age. Then I stand up, place my palms on the floor, and show them a nice Sun Salutation, which is pictured here.

There's nothing about yoga that is mysterious, and it doesn't have to be taken as a religion or some sort of occult philosophy. Yoga is like a buffet...you take out what you want.

Back when I was smoking, just one one-hour yoga class would help me bring up huge gobs of cigarette crud from my lungs. I could taste air for the first time in years and could feel air in parts of my lungs that I thought had failed to function forever. My blood pressure would go down. I felt relaxed and refreshed, a new man. Little aches disappeared. Now that I think of it I suppose yoga helped me stop smoking.

And I left every class hooked up to a tighter notch in my belt than when I went in.

I discovered that many of the exercises I had been doing at home (read: stomach crunches) were actually causing my back problems and building mass where I didn't want it (stomach). My instructor showed me how some of the same exercises, done properly, work on entirely different muscles to give proper results and relief. I also learned that many of the stretches I had been doing over the years were harming me because I hadn't gone through certain easy warmups first.

There are many types of yoga and many different postures and some may not be right for you. Check with your doctor to be sure. For example, because of a heart problem I can't do aerobic-type yoga. Also, there are still some yoga postures I can't get into, and I guess I just don't want to work that hard. I have found what works for me.

Before you give yoga a try it is very important to find an instructor who will listen to your health history a bit and explain to you the programs which are suitable for you. Done properly, there should never be the slightest pain or discomfort when you are in a yoga posture, but without some instruction before you get started it is possible to hurt yourself. A one-hour class should cost around five dollars and you'll be given a list of poses and postures to do every other night or so for homework.

What I have seen of pilates reminds me a lot of yoga and I suppose its benefits would be similar, but I don't know for sure from personal experience.

What I DO know from personal experience is that yoga can make you feel MUCH younger, breathe better, sleep better, and will help you enjoy your life a lot more. You can't ask for much more than that. Check it out.

-- Dalton Hammond (feeling 16)

Also check out my post: Do You Sweat A Lot?