Ask Your Scientist

It has already been proved that there is no intelligent life as we know it within our solar system and almost no chance at all that there are planets conducive to supporting intelligent life within thousands of light years from us. So our intelligent scientists continue to spend billions more of our dollars hoping to find life even farther away.

The question you should ask the next intelligent scientist you meet is:

If we DO somehow learn that there is intelligent life in outer space thousands of years from the sound of our voice...SO WHAT?

-- Dalton Hammond

Cell Phones and Ringtones

I use my cell phone very seldom. It has been my observation that if people know you have a cell phone, they keep calling you on it. -- Dalton Hammond

Why Golf Is Better Than Sex

Submitted by my friend Newsman Joe -- D.H.

#10 - A below par performance is considered good.

#9 - You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.

#8 - It's much easier to find the sweet spot.

#7 - Foursomes are encouraged.

#6 - You can still make money doing it as a senior.

#5 - Three times a day is possible.

#4 - Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.

#3 - If you live in Florida, you can do it almost everyday.

#2 - You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.

And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....

#1 - If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it!

The Kiss

He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire.

She is pregnant.

When he finally finished putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, "The Observer," noticed her in the distance looking at the fireman.

He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do.

As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies and kissed him just as the photographer snapped this photograph.

Click here for picture