Intelligent Design, or Evolution?

I've just about had it with the atheists at Scientific American, The Skeptic, and Sky & Telescope magazines telling me I'm some sort of idiot for believing in God.

If they are so convinced that Life just happens by accident, let me see one of their smart scientists create life from a bunch of rocks on purpose.

-- Dalton Hammond

High-Tech Terms Defined

Hi folks. I have cleverly defined some high-tech terms you may have heard but are unclear about. -- D.H.

ADOBE -- Floor plan for Arizona servant quarters
HEWLETT-PACKARD -- The worn-out car your grandfather gave to your uncle Hewlett
PAYPAL -- The workmate you owe $5 to from last week
LAPTOP -- A bar room dance step
PLASMA SCREEN -- Someone barfed too close to the TV
GOOGLE -- (a) A midget who sits on top of a cathedral; (b) many geese; (c) huge number
YAHOO! -- Deep-South translation of "Eureka!"
MACINTOSH -- What a Brit wears with his rubbers
HARD DRIVE -- Five hours on the road with no rest stop.
FLOPPY -- Outdated term; see Viagra
VIAGRA -- Wonder drug suspected of causing headaches in older women
EPSON -- A hangover remedy worth its salt
DOS -- One before Tres
WEB -- What your possum (blindly) walked into
DISK STORAGE -- A Deejay's closets

-- Dalton Hammond

More jokes

Venus Flytrap Having Supper

This is the way we deal with insects in the Sandhills of North Carolina.

(c) 2006, Dalton Hammond

I've heard that the mosquitos are tough around Pinehurst and Southern Pines but I haven't noticed any yet. I DO have Carpenter Bees the size of an Army CH-47D Chinook but they don't have any stingers so all they can do is buzz bomb you, but they are terrifying at first.

In Tidewater, Virginia the Army was nice enough to fly over every Summer and bomb my home with poison that killed all the skeeters, along with the fireflies, honey bees, etc...in fact, I'm not feeling so good.....

And people wonder why the Chesapeake Bay is dying.


-- Dalton Hammond

Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD)

If President Bush really needs to find some Weapons of Mass Destruction all he has to do is look in my golf bag.

-- Dalton Hammond